Let's break this down, where my time goes everyday since Rainier arrived and I've started working again.
*This is my morning schedule assuming daddy is home. If not, I have to do all this stuff while entertaining baby and adding in bottle feeding (~20 minutes) and diaper change (~3-5) minutes.
6:40 a.m. Alarm goes off. Assuming baby didn't wake me earlier to eat because he's off schedule, I get up and pump. Between getting parts together and putting away milk after- this is my first 15-20 minutes of my day.
7:00 a.m. Fill kettle, turn on stove. Heat water for coffee. Head to bathroom
7:05 bathroom, brush teeth + makeup (~10-15 minutes)
7:20 get kettle, make coffee and make breakfast
7:30-7:35 scarf down breakfast and coffee
7:35-7:40 get dressed, change/check baby diaper/change him if need be
7:40-7:45 get pumping parts together, pack lunch
7:45-7:47 grab baby cooler, extra outfits, get baby in Ergobaby carrier and head out
7:55 drop baby off at daycare- say "hi" and check in with caretakers
8:00 hop on bike and bike to train station
8:05-8:08 get to train station
8:10 take train to central
8:25 get off train at central walk across street and grab bike, head back across street and get going
8:40 get to office. Start working with giving 100% focus because of ridiculous pumping breaks throughout the day.
10:00 UGH! Pumping time. 20 minutes disrupting my day and work flow.
12:00 Work through lunch everyday because of my pumping breaks
12:30 REALLY? Ugh gotta pump again. 20 more minutes
3:00 I feel like I just dove into this massive project. Gotta disrupt it by PUMPING again. Ugh.
4:30 high tail it home to get to daycare or get home in time to nurse
Reverse commute. Get home around 5:10-5:20 - just in time for baby to be hungry. If I am running late because it's not my pickup day and something came up, baby won't wait and daddy has to give a bottle. So I have to spend 20 minutes pumping once I get home.
5:30 Yep, I'm pumping again after spending about 10 minutes to use bathroom, say hi to dad and baby. If dad is on travel, I have to feed baby bottle first (which takes about 20 minutes), then pump (another 20 minutes - note that's 40 minutes there the minute I walk in the door)
5:50 time to wash bottles so they can have enough time to dry for prep later for daycare for the next day & other dishes in sink
6:20 dishes are done. Now I get to spend time with my baby and start playing with him
6:20-7:30 Play with baby. Give him a bath, read him a book, whatnot.
7:30 bottle time again. Feed baby bottle (20 minutes) which also means it's pumping time again (another 20 minutes).
8-8:30 - wrap up pumping/feeding and get baby ready for bed. Diaper changes, change of outfit, walking him to get him to sleep, etc.
8:30 Baby is asleep by now (hopefully). That means I can prep/eat dinner now.
9:30 dinner is finished. Now I am lucky to spend a few moments with my husband WHILE I PUMP AGAIN.
10:00 shower time. Momma has to clean herself too.
10:30 shower is done. Check emails/Facebook, update social accounts for FitYap and some other random things for FitYap, Get ready for bed.
11:00 Bed time.
12-12:30 baby is up for first night bottle. If daddy is traveling, I have to do bottle, then pump. if not, I sometimes can sleep through this, but if I am woken up, I have to pump because I'm uncomfortable. So 20 minutes there regardless. I can never fall right back asleep after I am up- it always takes me 10-20 minutes.
3-4 am. Baby gets up again sometime during this time. Bottle and/or pump - 20-40 minutes.
REPEAT BEGINNING OF THE SCHEDULE (And note, some nights baby is up every 2 hours, not every 3-4 as I have listed out here).
So what does this mean? Do the math. I get to spend ~5 hours with my baby with undivided attention during the week. I get ~ 5 hours or less of sleep a night. My husband gets maybe 1 hour of my undivided attention during the week. I get 0 time of undivided attention for myself (not attached to a pump).
That leaves me 0 time for cleaning/household chores, let alone ANY time for friends or a social life, barely any time for the husband, and the time during pumping I try and use for myself.
This leaves me 0 time to follow-up on emails (unless I do it while pumping on my phone- but who wants to write emails on their tiny phone!?), to make plans, to do things.
Even if I were to try and plan something after work with a friend, I'd have to pump at the latest at 6 p.m.. So what's the point in doing something- lugging around pumping gear + cooler for milk and pumping in bathrooms on the go is NO fun. Once I got to the social engagement- the first thing I have to do is step away for 20 minutes and pump. And not to mention that's even more time taken away for my infant during the week (he will likely be asleep by the time I get home- which is awful to not spend any quality time with your LO for over a day) that won't be this young and small forever. Priorities have changed, and I want to thank my friends that understand the situation and those that will be ready to hang out and catch up when the time comes again. But you can also see how this can be very isolating for someone too. If you have a friend with a young one and want to see them and spend time with them, the best thing you can do is offer to visit or hang with them at their home.
This makes me want to cry and gives me horrendous anxiety. I wish I had more time to spend with my LO and husband primarily, but then of course friends. It really sucks. I don't know how single moms do it and stay sane...
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